Category: Lafftastic

I think Cyriak is one of the b3ta.com crew. Here’s a compedium of stoooooopid looping animation. Terry Gilliam would be proud.
UPDATE: In fact, they made a TV Pilot.

Please don’t make fun of the Japanese: they do a much better job when they make fun of themselves. Here’s an odd little mockumentary about how to enjoy sushi.
By way of Joi Ito’s blog.

Photos from a “Moscow Wax Figure Exhibition Highlighting the Graphic Dangers of Drugs”. Something wonderfully arty about this house of drugginess. Girl with dolly looks down with devilish disinterest. Mother too strung out to notice Twyla Tharp-ish statement by suicidal roommate in a sweater usually only worn by British TV weathermen in 1986. Stunning. As was that last sentence.
By way of The Cartoonist.

What more needs to be said? Either you’ll find this very funny or not. Stuff On My Cat.

Wait, this *isn’t* satire? Oh dear.
Check out the plot blurb.

Libreality
‘It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. America is under oppression by ultra-liberal extremists who have surrendered governing authority to the United Nations. Hate speech legislation called the “Coulter Laws” have forced vocal conservatives underground. A group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy, Oliver North, and a young man born on September 11, 2001, set out to thwart Ambassador Usama bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City.’

Kinda sad that two of your three bio-mech superheroes are based on convicted criminals. My guess as to why these guys were chosen instead of say a less-criminal conservative hero from the past is that the creator is hoping for some prime publicity knob-gobblin’ on their talk shows.

But I’m just talking about Chaucer.
Lyrics to Shaft translated to Middle English. To one who studied Chaucer for my A-Levels and wound up writing in Middle English for a while, this is giggle-inducing.

A Townie’s Tale
Wha be tha blake prevy lawe
That bene wantoun too alle tha feres?
SHAFT!
Ya damne righte!
Wha be tha carl tha riske is hals wolt
Fro is allye leve?
SHAFT!
Konne ye?
Wha be tha carl wha ne wolden flee
Whan peril bene all aboughte?
SHAFT!
Verray!
Alle clepe tha carl ane badde mooder-
SOFTE!
Speken of Shaft bene I.
THAN KONNE ALLES WE!
He be a man konne unnethes
Namo save is mayde konnes im.
JOHN SHAFT!

So, wait. Does this mean the mother slept with…A CHICKEN???

BBC Tributes left for a dead chicken
Flowers and tributes were left in an alleyway where the body of a mystery dead baby was found – before police realised it was only a chicken foetus.
A member of the public discovered the remains in a back alley in the Anfield area of Liverpool.
Police cordoned off the scene but soon realised that it was not a human but a chicken foetus.
Well-wishers had laid more than a dozen bunches of flowers at the scene, along with cards and teddy bears.
One of the cards read: “RIP Little Baby. Safe in the arms of Jesus. From someone who is a loving mother xxxx.”
Merseyside Police told the community on Monday to “stop grieving, it’s only a chicken”.

Hey, you tell that to the poor mother. Precious.

Love letter to George Romero disguised as an Onion article.

Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
Federal Undead Management Agency spokesperson Dr. Sheena Aurora downplayed the ZPI report, arguing that zombies move slowly and can be easily overpowered. Aurora advised citizens to look over their shoulders frequently, adding that a large shopping mall can serve as a “long-term, even fun” refuge from zombies.

Making Light posts an attempt to render the Nigerian Spam Email into poetry. He is quickly trumped by his comments section.

This Is Just To Say
I deleted
the spam
that was in
the inbox
and which
you were probably
reading
as poetry
forgive me
they were meritricious
so false
and so bold

And so much more at the link. By way of Scott Rosenberg’s Salon Blog.