Month: February 2003

The Age of Irony Is Dead. When they first said this, I didn’t want to believe it, but after reading the Reader Mail at the most excellent satirical page WhiteHouse.org, I’m inclined to agree. The number of readers who can’t see that this is straight-forward parody is staggering, from the frothing at the mouth, can-barely-suppress misogyny/homophobia/racism right wing chowder head to the humorless and over-earnest liberal ding-dong. There surely is no hope.
One of my many favorites:

SUBJECT = Mr. Predsident
NAME = Nancy & Clovis B. Vaughn
E-MAIL = promo@dc.rr.com
MESSAGE = My Husband, Major Clovis B. Vaughn is an Officer and an Engineer at 29 Palms Marine Base and a Texan, and a Graduate from Rice U ,and a strong supporter of you Mr. President along with my self Sir. Would you please see to it that Major Vaughn can meet with you Mr. President?, sometimes men need your support Sir, and may I please shake your hand.
We both thank the Lord that we have taken back the Goverment and that it is time for us to succeed!
This has nothing to do with my Husbnd Mr. President ,but my town Palm Springs Ca needs your help, with up as it has gone to ,,well to Lucefer as it is now currently 80% to 20% Homosexuals, a discusting way of life Sir, why is it ok in todays life to be imoral? The Mayor has told us in the Desert Sun Newspaper that he has given up on Jesus Christ.
Your Very Pround,
Voter,
Nancy Ann Vaughn

And then there’s this genius from somewhere in Canada (warning, there’s lots of swearing below):

SUBJECT = holy shit
NAME = gordon
E-MAIL = gordonsands@hotmail.com
MESSAGE = What the fuck were you sticking up your ass when you came up with this fucing site? That is fucking pathetic! HOLY SHIT 5% of Americans don’t masturbate, guess what that means…95% of you do!! Now I don’t have a degree in math or shit like that but 95% doing something is the majority of the population. Oh guess what? All these rapists, sodomites you talk about who were masturbators- becoming the worst criminals in the world, well guess what? I masturbate once a week or so and I’m studying to be a doctor(hey that means that I got into a really good university and one day may have to do a surgery on your sorry ass after someone kicks the shit out of it!) and I would never rape, sodomize, or look at a kid with nary a fantasy of sex with them EVER; so even if a few masturbators become heinous criminals- well when 95% of the people in the USA masturbate then more than likely anyone who masturbated (hey that’s almost 240,000,000!) would be a criminal. So shut the fuck up about everything and suck my dick. Oh yeah, just who the FUCK do you think you can get that will help you outlaw masturbation? I am so glad I’m a Canadian when I read stupid shit like this, you’ve got a fucking hick for a president and some of the worse laws in the world. I hope you all fucking rot in hell!
Oh PS….I don’t mean to be critical or anything but anyone who believes that god was always there, and that jesus fed like a million people from a fucking loaf of bread, or that he rose from the dead has to have something SERIOUSLY fucked up with them. I think almost every- no EVERY man in America and the world agrees with me, because I know that every single man in the world who can and it is in their religion has masturbated, even YOU faggot.

Remember, this guy is studying to be a doctor someday.