This Is Why You’re Fat


A vomitous collection of some of the worst American foods out there. I have to admit, some of them probably taste really good (esp. if they use bacon). However, the above photo looks like a whole deep-sea fish flash fried and served up while it was puking its guts out. It’s actually a “breakfast burrito.”

Interview wtih 74 year old porn star


Continuing our senior theme for the day, here’s an interview you won’t see in AARP magazine. VICE interviews Shigero Tokuda, who has found a strange niche being one of the oldest porn stars. Sure his films aren’t mainstream, but there is an audience out there for them, and it sounds like he does rather well. Also, his thoughts and outlook are quite progressive.

What are your views on the sex climate in Japan?
I first learned about sex in the postwar period, when we didn’t have anything. Everybody was so focused on living, studying, graduating, and working that neither my classmates nor myself were all that interested in sex. So for my generation, it’s all about getting back those lost dreams of our youth. Society is more open about porn now, which I guess is a good thing. But personally, I think that sex should be regarded as something more austere. I mean, it’s the physical communion of two people. I know it sounds rich from somebody doing the work I do, but I sincerely believe that. I would like to make a deeper human-to-human connection with the people that I sleep with.

Sweet Gene Tierney


Posts like this one by David Cairns remind me why I subscribe to his Shadowplay blog. Here he is rhapsodizing about 1940’s starlet Gene Tierney:

I now list the features, and excuse me if I get overcome and have to go lie down:
The eyes: large, long, and very wide apart. I have a vision of walking up to Gene and putting my hand over the centre of her face, and of her looking back at me from around either side of my palm. THOSE EYES IS WIDE APART.
The big pale moonlike forehead. I am a man who likes a forehead. (Paulette Goddard, what a forehead that is! An eighthead, in fact.)
The nose, apparently hand-shaped from some soft, wonderful material — butter, perhaps – by tiny master craftsmen.
The cheekbones, beautifully defined, as if constructed especially to receive Von Sternberg’s light.
The mouth, completely redesigned by ambitious lipstick in these images, but in reality a wide, full and elaborately flared labial sculpture, balancing the eyes, and containing slightly erratic teeth which add charm to what could otherwise be chilly perfection.

Britons are the worst tourists in the world!


So sez the Greeks.

“They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit,” Malia’s mayor, Konstantinos Lagoudakis, said in an interview. “It is only the British people — not the Germans or the French.”

I like how “cross-dressing” gets thrown into the list. Who knew?

Entrances to Hell around the UK


Came across a very odd site
that lists with archaic names, directions, and descriptions a series of odd urban locations that could and/or might as well be Entrances to Hell. The shitty web design, circa 1997, only helps the effect. You gotta like this writing:

Ssssuuuuft is an under-appreciated entrance in an important location. With its passages of breeze-block and pipes of silver it has become the single most efficient inward access for the damned since the loss of Paxmat in 1203. This is the entrance from which The Twins will be sent when they come to eat all the Cathedrals.

or

A well known song tells the story of the devil’s memories of Quetty Orarna. “Here I seen monkies daunce, and performe all the tricks of ye tight rope, to my great admiration” was written 600 years ago and is still to be heard here in the 21st century. Quetty Orarna was sealed up from the inside by the explorers Eleanor Moscow and George M at the very beginning of their foolhardy and controversial mission into Hell. Nothing more was ever known of them.

Fans of M.R. James or Ramsey Campbell or even Mark E. Smith should appreciate.

Lucid dreaming


Lucid dreaming is the technique of becoming conscious that you are dreaming while in the dream state and then being able to walk about the environment, change things, change yourself, read 25,000 words a minute, and do pretty much anything you’d want to do. (Scarlett Johansson, watch out!)
I’ve only had this happen to me about twice in my dreaming life, but apparently you can train yourself with all sorts of methods.
Here is a FAQ about lucid dreaming, if you’re interested.
Brion Gysin, friend of William S. Burroughs, was interested in inducing the dreamstate without going to sleep. So he build a “dream machine” along with scientist Ian Sommerville. The device produces a stroboscopic flicker that corresponds to the brain’s alpha waves.

A dreamachine is “viewed” with the eyes closed: the pulsating light stimulates the optical nerve and alters the brain’s electrical oscillations. The “viewer” experiences increasingly bright, complex patterns of color behind their closed eyelids. The patterns become shapes and symbols, swirling around, until the “viewer” feels surrounded by colors. It is claimed that viewing a dreamachine allows one to enter a hypnagogic state.This experience may sometimes be quite intense, but to escape from it, one needs only to open one’s eyes.

You can either build your own or have your computer do it for you.
I can’t vouch for any of these, but I’m not against it. Go for it!

Rock You Like a Hurricane

Okay, when a hurricane is approaching, I know my first thought is to strap myself to a kite surfing apparatus and stand on the beach. Well done. Thank goodness for intrepid news crews filming tropical storm Fay, or this self-correcting problem would not have been caught on tape.

I made Fleshbot, and I didn’t have to get naked


I know, *phew*, right? Anyway, I don’t usually blog the porny stuff, so when I found this very WTF (and NSFW) video on YouTube…and then found 18 of the same thing, I sent in a tip to Fleshbot.com. And waddya know, they ran with it. First, BoingBoing, then the New York Times, and now Fleshbot, the number one adult blog on the web. I’m everywhere, folks. Excerpt:

A very confused tipster writes to us asking for an explanation of the following YouTube video. It starts off innocently enough, with footage of a random girl-on-girl makeout session: nothing confusing there, but then things take an abrupt turn when the show is interrupted by footage from late-70s schmaltzfest “Eight Is Enough.” Then it’s back to the lesbian makeout, accompanied by some adult contemporary/soft rock background music. Then you see the opening credits for CSI: NY. Then back to some more Dick Van Patten, then it abruptly ends. In other words, it’s a big heaping spoonful of WTF?

When the boss isn’t looking, click through to the link to see the clips. You know you want to, especially with that hot Van Patten action going down.

All not well in Mordor


Okay, so it’s not Mordor, it’s Chile’s erupting Chaitén volcano, which is blowing its stack after 9,000 of just chillin’ out all dormant like. The heat and the ash and the SOULS OF DEAD THETANS have created these amazingly beautiful photos, taken for National Geographic. (However, I found more photos at this site, something about NG’s interface is booty.) The morning after: not-so scenic.